Source of separation

At what point we have started to believe we are separate waves? A separate being? A separate body? Some people are saying "I'm nothing". But instead of saying that, what if they would say "I'm an inseparable part of the totality?" If they would emphasize the specialness, uniqueness, the value, the perfection of this One-thing.

If we have been taught like that, most of us would have no fundamental issues, low self esteem, doubts about our capacities, our life purpose, place we have in the world or in the society we live in. All of these stories, that's what they are, just mental stories, come from this idea, belief, we are separate.

And we are not born with it. Roughly the first two years of our life, we did not feel separate to other objects. We still had the five senses, all that was functioning, but what was missing was thoughts, we didn't had this I-thought, me-thought for the first two years of our live.

So the five senses were picking-up on things, but we weren't thinking: I. It was just a direct experience with what was happening. And for those of you who had children, you have seen them go through this process. Two things are happening: a sense of physical separation happens, and it feels like something uncomfortable for most children, and the second thing is: the I-thought appears. Before that, we speak in the third person: Ragi is hungry, Ragi wants the ball.

This I-thought is born, and if it was just that, it wouldn't be a problem, because the I-thought is useful, in our inter-human relationships, and in the way we use language.

If I say I, if I say you, there is a relationship. So there can be an I and a you, which helps us to function, that's the way I use it for the moment, but there is no belief that what we are talking to, is a separate object.

But why does that happen? It's because everyone around us, pretty much, starts to tell us that we are separate: "be a good girl, don't do this", little messages like this. And of course, all our religions, and I grew up as a Christian, tell us that we are separate from God. Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam. Most of the spiritual teachings also tell us we are separate, so no wonder we believe this.

As a little child, we are like a sponge, we believe what we are told. So a large part of that so-called process is to try and tell the mind that we are not separate, we have never been separate. Even if you continue to feel that you are separate. And that has a direct impact on our daily life, because things like blame, guilt, shame, hatred and pride, these five core beliefs, and strong emotions, come directly from the belief "I am a separate being, a separate object".

Every night when we go to sleep, and we're in deep sleep, we forget. We forget that we are separate, we forget our suffering, we forget the story of who we are, we forget all the claims, good and bad. We can say that every night we have a direct experience of this Oneness that we are, or this lack of separation that we are, and then every morning when we wake up at some point, this idea comes back, this belief comes back and the minute it comes back, I is the center of this idea.

This little thought I, and in English four other little thoughts "me, mine, myself, my", these five little personal pronouns create this identity, create this belief, "I am separate".

"I, me, mine, myself, my".

Pretty much everything that happens in our life, while we are awake, is claimed in some way by this thought I. We call that the ego. We've got a nice spiritual name for it, we call it the Ego.

The Ego then claims everything that's happening to itself. It becomes personal, and in that moment we claim it as "mine", we say that there is another, "him, she, her, it, they, them, etc.", so we've created duality in our mind. Our mind has created duality.

Not just from the experience of the so called separate object, the feeling of separation, but it gets reinforced by this so called mind that says "I am here and they are there". "This is me and that is it".

Unless, during the day, other things happen. We're watching a beautiful sunset, or making love. We're just dancing or reading, listening to music, riding a bicycle, walking, cooking, anything, some activity, and there's no thought about ourselves or about the others.